My Mommy Heart

This morning I held a child while silent tears ran down her face. She was the same age and size as one of my daughters and she cuddled into me the same way. My mommy heart broke and re-broke several times while I held her.

When I got home my little girls mended my heart. We went out to eat at our favorite restaurant, Renee discovered that she likes crab dip. I had one of those moments where you realize that now that you're a mom you can do pretty much anything. While Renee sat on my lap eating my dinner, I also ate my dinner while giving Lydia a bottle. No problem. Renee then did the impossible. While sitting on my lap fully dressed eating her dinner she peed on me! I was wet and she was dry!!! Not possible! Unless you have a monster, and I mean monster diaper wedgie. On the way home she made up a song, "Happy happy, Mommy, Daddy. Happy, happy, Daddy happy, Mommy happy, Lydia happy, Happy, happy." My mommy heart was happy.

As of yesterday Lydia is 8 months old. The view I most often have of her is the top of her head. She wants to stand and pulls up on anything and everything. I don't have to look far for her she is usually attached to my leg. I kind of like it, my daughters are my best accessories.

A Little Like Me

Mom likes to tell a story about the difference between her children. She uses the example of mopping the floor and telling us all to stay out until the floor was dry. One would blatantly disregard the rule and run straight through. One would stand in the doorway and put her toes just over the edge of the entry...that was me. I wanted to know, do you mean what you say or is it ok if I follow my interpretation of the rule...will I get in trouble if I break the letter of the law or the meaning of the law. I knew the rule was made so we wouldn't get the floor dirty so sometimes I would run through in my clean socks when she wasn't looking, not to mess up the floor but to see if she would be able to tell I had walked through. Shen never knew (sorry Mom) and what I learned was that rules weren't important if they didn't have meaning so I could choose which rules I followed and which ones I didn't which amounts to rebellion. So the point of this is that the other day I told Renee "We don't stand on the couch. The couch is for sitting. If you stand on it you have to go to your room." What did she do? She kneeled. I hadn't said anything about kneeling but I did say that the couch was for sitting. The look in her eye told me I have a daughter just like me so I spent a minute debating what to do and sent her to her room. I told her to go and she took off running, went straight to her room and came back a minute later, climbed up on the couch and stood. I sent her to her room. We did this three of four times before she came back and sat down. Hasn't stood since. So my lesson for the day was that small things matter and obedience needs to be learned for the simple fact of obedience.

On to matters of cuteness...I love watching Lydia and Renee play together these days. It is so sweet. They adore each other. Lydia has just taken off, as I write I'm sitting on the floor and Lydia has pulled up to cling to my back, she wants to stand more than sit and uses the furniture or anything she can get hold of to stand and is even starting to walk along the couch. For breakfast this morning she gummed her way through 2 pancakes. She is thrilled with herself for eating real food and can't seem to get enough of it. Despite the fact that I stepped right in a puddle of spit up this morning she is keeping more food in her stomach and less is coming back up. After so much worry I have no more doubts about her health. Her grins and giggles mean the world to me and seeing her crawl across the floor and eat with a healthy appetite is not taken for granted. I am so blessed to have two beautiful, healthy girls.

Sooo Big!

These two pictures should be at the end but I don't have any more time to fight with blogger about it. They are cute wherever they are.

Lydia is getting soooo big! After I put her in bed tonight I heard her talking and when I went back in this is what I found. I put her back to bed, snuggled her in with paci and blanket and put the rail ALL the way up before leaving the room. I soon heard her talking again and when I went back in this is what I found!

Who knew she was so tall?! That cute little nose sticking up past the rail just about did me in. She and Renee have been playing so nice together lately. Lydia gets lots of kisses from her big sister. Here's a few pictures of them playing together because they are just too cute.

Family Pictures

It was time for a new family picture and this was the most challenging attempt. The outtakes would probably have been more interesting to post! This was one of the few pictures that we got without a finger in someone's mouth...or nose. Renee has not been interested in having her picture taken and this day was no exception. Jeremy worked hard for this smile! Isn't she a sweetie though?

Lydia loved the flash. There was no problem getting a smile out of her as long as Jeremy could snap those pictures fast enough. What a doll!

Milestones

It is hard to believe that Lydia is 6 months old already. At the same time she is such an important part of my life that I can't imagine being without her. I was holding her today and thinking that she is a little piece of heaven that I am privileged to care for (I feel just as strongly about Renee but this is about Lydia). Lydia has smiles that never end. She loves to be played with and her giggles and smiles come easily. She is joy.

It means so much to me to see her sitting and working hard to crawl. I take very little for granted with her. I look forward to her six month check up because this will be the first appointment that I can take her to the doctor and when he asks how she is doing I will be able to answer without reservation, "She is doing wonderful!" It feels good not to worry. It feels good to see her taking in the world around her and reaching out for toys or objects and bring them to her mouth. We are using fewer bibs and burp cloths these days and that is good too.

There have been surprises in motherhood, between Renee and Lydia I have learned many things and I'm sure there is much more to be learned. Some learnings of less consequence than others but for all my confidence before Renee came I quickly realized you don't know how to be a mother until you are one. I've learned that how long it takes apple juice to become vinegar in a sippy cup, that after a child is born laundry doesn't increase from baby clothes but from all the adult clothes with spit up on them. I've learned that rules have a purpose and that structure can be good. I've learned the value of a nap. I've learned the joy and pride of watching your child bring joy to others. I've learned the pain of hearing a doctor say "I'm sorry" while discussing the health of your child. I've learned that tomorrow I will learn again.

It is such a cliche but it really is true that children grow up fast. I gave Renee her first haircut today. It was time to get the hair out of her eyes and since she won't leave a clip in her hair I finally gave in and cut bangs. I'm not ready for her to look too grown up but even with bangs she is still my little girl.

Barrista Renee

As a few days have passed since this first picture was taken the title for this post has changed several times...Renee's Bright Idea...Breakfast Bedlam...but I settled on Barrista Renee. Breakfast is not a formal affair in my house. The goal is to get enough food into two little tummies for the littlest one to take a good long nap (preferably her usual 3 hours) and for the big one to be able to play happily until lunch. Our routine of bath time after breakfast is proof that the only goal is food consumption, the how, where, and what are lesser matters. So on this particular morning, Renee was eating her breakfast, chocolate cheerios, while standing on a chair at the kitchen counter. I actually thought it was a pretty good idea, easier clean up than the carpet in the dining room. Renee began to eat and I left her to check on Lydia when I came back this (picture above) is what I found. She had added her cheerios to the half inch of coffee left from the previous morning. And that is where the title "Renee's Bright Idea" came from. As soon as she took a bite she quickly switched my bowl of cheerios for the coffee pot. So she ate mine with milk and I ate out of the coffee pot, saved me some time, on a busy morning coffee in the cereal is not a bad idea at all.

This evening I was brewing a pot of coffee (decaf for anyone that is concerned) while Renee helped me do dishes. The scary part of this story is that I had no idea she was messing with the coffee pot only two feet away from me. When we were done I noticed the coffee had strange floaters in it. I looked closer and found that the orange slices I had congratulated Renee for finishing were in the coffee pot. My little barrista once again had a pretty good idea. The orange infused coffee that I'm drinking as I type is quite good.

And now for "Breakfast Bedlam". Lydia has been reaching for her cereal bowl and grabbing the spoon on the way to her mouth. In the interest of encouraging her new sense of exploration I gave her the bowl when she was mostly done eating. Oh my did she have fun! By the way, this is why bath time comes after breakfast.

Big sister wanted to see what the fuss was about. She got a little bit of cereal on her fingertip and was quite unhappy about it. All I heard was "uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh." In a very disgruntled tone. That's ok, Lydia made enough mess for both of them and Renee was quite happy that I put her in the bathtub to get cleaned off.

Little Bag of Treasures

For the past several weeks Renee has been carrying around what we affectionally refer to as her "little bag of treasures." This bag is so loved that she has even learned to say "little bag of treasures." It goes everywhere she goes, and I do mean everywhere.

This outfit was 100% Renee picked, we can discuss her sense of style another time but for the record I'm quite proud of her.

The contents of this bag vary from day to day and I can count on finding whatever I'm missing in that bag...keys, cell phone, glasses, perfume, Lydia's medicine dropper, stray socks, Lydia's shoes, whatever strikes Renee's fancy. Every few days I dump it out while Renee is sleeping to retrieve the items that she really shouldn't be carrying around. Here's what I found a few days ago.


Really she has all the essentials of a well stocked purse or diaper bag...cell phone, sunglasses, bottle, medicine cup, snack and drink. The fact that she thought to stock an extra shoe or two...now that's my girl. I just need to teach her to match.

So this afternoon Renee and I were weeding the garden and planting some onions while Lydia napped. Renee of course had her little bag of treasures with her. That's where we were headed in the first picture. She was doing a good job of helping (throwing the weeds back in the garden as fast as I pulled them out!) when I saw a couple worms. Actually I was startled by two large worms at my fingertips. I tried not to get grossed out, they were after all only worms, not snakes, even though they are the same shape, so I picked one up with my gloved hands and let it dangle over my finger to show Renee our little friend. I thought this would be a fun discovery for her...hmmm...well, she thought it was fun too. She took it from me right away holding it between two fingers and looking at it, chattering away to me or the worm I don't know. Next thing I knew she had that little worm in her first and was going straight for her little bag of treasures! That is not what I want to find next time I empty the little bag of treasures!!! The worm was quickly put back in the ground and I did not show her the next dozen worms that we unearthed! I think I will be a bit more cautious of what critters we make friends with and how I empty her little bag of treasures. Who knows what might be in there!